My current obsession is Scrapblog, this online scrapbooking software. I haven't figured out all the bells and whistles yet, but I made this:
B and I went out last night to unwind from the week. Some friends of ours were playing, and we decided to go see them. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a few drinks on a weekend and just having fun. However, after my bar experience last night, I felt that I should create some bar rules for girls. They are...
1. I know you are a size 2 and have great legs. Wear that mini-dress, honey. But, please don't bend over (ever). It doesn't matter how hot you are, nobody wants to see your hoo hah.
2. Always steer clear of spandex.
3. I see that you and your boy toy are SOOOOO in love (gag). That doesn't mean you should swap sloppy kisses or grab anything on your partner below the waist. Personal space still applies when you're drunk.
4. Just because a rap song comes on the radio, that doesn't mean you suddenly have dance skills.
and, finally...
5. No grinding.
Please follow these rules and
A. I will not have to slap you, and...
B. this won't be you:
1. I know you are a size 2 and have great legs. Wear that mini-dress, honey. But, please don't bend over (ever). It doesn't matter how hot you are, nobody wants to see your hoo hah.
2. Always steer clear of spandex.
3. I see that you and your boy toy are SOOOOO in love (gag). That doesn't mean you should swap sloppy kisses or grab anything on your partner below the waist. Personal space still applies when you're drunk.
4. Just because a rap song comes on the radio, that doesn't mean you suddenly have dance skills.
and, finally...
5. No grinding.
Please follow these rules and
A. I will not have to slap you, and...
B. this won't be you:
-Yesterday, I had my very first cavity filled. It wasn’t that bad, except afterward my face felt like it was melting off (funny) and when I talked I sounded like I had a speech impediment (not funny).
-Yesterday was also Piper Mortimer Duncan’s first birthday. Since I am a bad catmother, I completely forgot until I was in bed about to go to sleep. We decided to let her stay in there with us for the night (it was her birthday, after all) until she started attacking our hands and feet. Before you start feeling sorry for her, I do not think she realized it was a special day; she doesn’t speak English, after all.
-A couple of girls from work asked me to start walking with them sometimes. I am so excited! It made me feel good and included in the work crowd.
-A friend gave me some back issues of Time magazine, and I have been slowly catching up. According to Time’s article “CT Scans: Just How Safe Are They?”, new medical research says that CT scans can expose you to large amounts of radiation (45 millisieverts – the typical chest x-ray delivers .02 millisieverts) and can actually make malignancies worse. Another article (“Gardasil: Vaccine Battle?”) says Gardasil may cause side effects, including seizures, fainting, and even death. HOWEVER (on both the CT scan and the Gardasil front), McSister (my sister doctor) checked medical journals and we are in fact going to live even if we’ve had a CT scan and the Gardasil shot. You can rest easily.
-Tomorrow = last working day of the month = pay day! WOO HOO!
-Yesterday was also Piper Mortimer Duncan’s first birthday. Since I am a bad catmother, I completely forgot until I was in bed about to go to sleep. We decided to let her stay in there with us for the night (it was her birthday, after all) until she started attacking our hands and feet. Before you start feeling sorry for her, I do not think she realized it was a special day; she doesn’t speak English, after all.
-A couple of girls from work asked me to start walking with them sometimes. I am so excited! It made me feel good and included in the work crowd.
-A friend gave me some back issues of Time magazine, and I have been slowly catching up. According to Time’s article “CT Scans: Just How Safe Are They?”, new medical research says that CT scans can expose you to large amounts of radiation (45 millisieverts – the typical chest x-ray delivers .02 millisieverts) and can actually make malignancies worse. Another article (“Gardasil: Vaccine Battle?”) says Gardasil may cause side effects, including seizures, fainting, and even death. HOWEVER (on both the CT scan and the Gardasil front), McSister (my sister doctor) checked medical journals and we are in fact going to live even if we’ve had a CT scan and the Gardasil shot. You can rest easily.
-Tomorrow = last working day of the month = pay day! WOO HOO!
Tonight, I decided to go back and read my old (years ago) online journal. Some random clippings (from most recent to least recent because I don't know how to fix it):
April 4th, 2006:
kellybeth1225: go to work tomorrow and figure out what is wrong with me
hayleyc99: hiv
hayleyc99: gonoherpesyphilaids
hayleyc99: mono?
hayleyc99: or possibly a torn ACL
hayleyc99: I'll work on it
kellybeth1225: definitely ACL
hayleyc99: well, I have seen a lot of those lately so I'm pretty good at diagnosing them, especially over AIM
__________
March 6, 2006:
Today I pulled up to Wal*Mart and there was a man walking through the parking lot with a bat. Also, I saw a woman who bears a striking resemblance to the ghost of Christmas past. You know, you just never know what you'll see these days.
I will leave you with a quote that one of my friends said about Bruce Springsteen:
"I really, really think that 80's TV show "Who's the Boss?" would've been so much better if they would've cast Bruce as the lead role instead of that lame Tony Danza. I mean, they'd probably have to change the title and everything. Because, it would be senseless to ask who's the boss when everyone KNOWS it's Bruce. C'mon. The title would look more like "I'm The Boss, Bitch!"
__________
January 30, 2006:
"I want to give a really bad party. I mean it. I want to give a party where there's a brawl and seductions and people going home with their feelings hurt and women passed out in the cabinet de toilette. You wait and see." -Diver, from Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night
__________
Jan 22, 2006:
This Hemingway business isn't as bad as I thought. It's really very good. But, he always writes run-on sentences, and it's annoying. Also, he doesn't put commas after sequential words that open sentences (ex. Then,...) or before "too" to end a sentence. I wonder what that's all about. I wonder if I'll ever find someone who is interested in the same things I am. I wonder if that would even be a good thing?
The people in the Crimson White FINALLY wrote an article about Foster Auditorium. That seems so silly that I get so worked up about something like that, but I can't help it. It's the most historically important site on the campus, and we're just letting it rot. Something is wrong with that. Where are all the loaded alumni who think the preservation of history is important?
By then I knew that everything good and bad left an emptiness when it stopped. But if it was bad, the emptiness filled up by itself. If it was good you could only fill it by finding something better. -Hemingway, from Moveable Feast
[COMMENT: I was extremely happy when I read this one, because Blaine might be one of the only people on the planet that would be interested in the meaning of the grammar in a Hemingway novel.]
_________
January 24, 2006:
I get my clinical packet tomorrow, telling me which school I will be placed at. I hope I'm a good teacher. I hope I don't hate it.
_________
January 10th, 2006
"I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me." -Sylvia Plath
"I also don't believe in "owning" people--like a good whore or a pet canary." -Sylvia Plath
________
December 28th, 2005
The dog kissed me on the lips yesterday. I think she wants more out of the relationship than I am willing to give. I told her I wanted to take it slow, but she's just not listening to me.
_______
December 14th, 2005:
Year in Review: Take the first sentence from each month in your journal, and post it.
January: So I've downloaded around 20 songs (including the Fall Out Boy Christmas song you let us listen to yesterday, Meg... are you proud?) and I'm so pumped up about making this CD, and then I realize I'm out of blank CD's.
February: Well, I know it's probably been six months since I've updated, so I thought I'd start this weekend.
March: Today is Stevie's Birthday and here is a picture for your viewing pleasure :
April: Hey cowgirls - see the grass? don't eat it
May: Something drastic happened today. I broke down and went to the library.
June: Wow, that's quite a title you've got. What is your major again?
July: Right. So i tried to update the other day but the computer was being entirely ridiculous so i couldn't.
August: Stand on my left, boo I know you ain't right
September: So it seems like every time I do a private entry it ends up being about...
October: Francesco Petrarca's SONGBOOK sonnet # 132
November: I went shopping today and bought entirely too much stuff.
December: Tonight freaking rocked. Lowkey party turned out to be just the fun I needed.
OK, I'll stop there. It goes back way farther, but I really got a kick out of reading what I had written at a different point in my life. I realized I used to read better books and think about them more. Maybe I can work on that. Any suggestions?
April 4th, 2006:
kellybeth1225: go to work tomorrow and figure out what is wrong with me
hayleyc99: hiv
hayleyc99: gonoherpesyphilaids
hayleyc99: mono?
hayleyc99: or possibly a torn ACL
hayleyc99: I'll work on it
kellybeth1225: definitely ACL
hayleyc99: well, I have seen a lot of those lately so I'm pretty good at diagnosing them, especially over AIM
__________
March 6, 2006:
Today I pulled up to Wal*Mart and there was a man walking through the parking lot with a bat. Also, I saw a woman who bears a striking resemblance to the ghost of Christmas past. You know, you just never know what you'll see these days.
I will leave you with a quote that one of my friends said about Bruce Springsteen:
"I really, really think that 80's TV show "Who's the Boss?" would've been so much better if they would've cast Bruce as the lead role instead of that lame Tony Danza. I mean, they'd probably have to change the title and everything. Because, it would be senseless to ask who's the boss when everyone KNOWS it's Bruce. C'mon. The title would look more like "I'm The Boss, Bitch!"
__________
January 30, 2006:
"I want to give a really bad party. I mean it. I want to give a party where there's a brawl and seductions and people going home with their feelings hurt and women passed out in the cabinet de toilette. You wait and see." -Diver, from Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night
__________
Jan 22, 2006:
This Hemingway business isn't as bad as I thought. It's really very good. But, he always writes run-on sentences, and it's annoying. Also, he doesn't put commas after sequential words that open sentences (ex. Then,...) or before "too" to end a sentence. I wonder what that's all about. I wonder if I'll ever find someone who is interested in the same things I am. I wonder if that would even be a good thing?
The people in the Crimson White FINALLY wrote an article about Foster Auditorium. That seems so silly that I get so worked up about something like that, but I can't help it. It's the most historically important site on the campus, and we're just letting it rot. Something is wrong with that. Where are all the loaded alumni who think the preservation of history is important?
By then I knew that everything good and bad left an emptiness when it stopped. But if it was bad, the emptiness filled up by itself. If it was good you could only fill it by finding something better. -Hemingway, from Moveable Feast
[COMMENT: I was extremely happy when I read this one, because Blaine might be one of the only people on the planet that would be interested in the meaning of the grammar in a Hemingway novel.]
_________
January 24, 2006:
I get my clinical packet tomorrow, telling me which school I will be placed at. I hope I'm a good teacher. I hope I don't hate it.
_________
January 10th, 2006
"I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me." -Sylvia Plath
"I also don't believe in "owning" people--like a good whore or a pet canary." -Sylvia Plath
________
December 28th, 2005
The dog kissed me on the lips yesterday. I think she wants more out of the relationship than I am willing to give. I told her I wanted to take it slow, but she's just not listening to me.
_______
December 14th, 2005:
Year in Review: Take the first sentence from each month in your journal, and post it.
January: So I've downloaded around 20 songs (including the Fall Out Boy Christmas song you let us listen to yesterday, Meg... are you proud?) and I'm so pumped up about making this CD, and then I realize I'm out of blank CD's.
February: Well, I know it's probably been six months since I've updated, so I thought I'd start this weekend.
March: Today is Stevie's Birthday and here is a picture for your viewing pleasure :
April: Hey cowgirls - see the grass? don't eat it
May: Something drastic happened today. I broke down and went to the library.
June: Wow, that's quite a title you've got. What is your major again?
July: Right. So i tried to update the other day but the computer was being entirely ridiculous so i couldn't.
August: Stand on my left, boo I know you ain't right
September: So it seems like every time I do a private entry it ends up being about...
October: Francesco Petrarca's SONGBOOK sonnet # 132
November: I went shopping today and bought entirely too much stuff.
December: Tonight freaking rocked. Lowkey party turned out to be just the fun I needed.
OK, I'll stop there. It goes back way farther, but I really got a kick out of reading what I had written at a different point in my life. I realized I used to read better books and think about them more. Maybe I can work on that. Any suggestions?
