Happy Birthday to my favorite!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
I am not someone who believes in the afterlife or transfer of energies or any of that. For some reason, the older I get, the more I don't buy it, and the more I don't feel like I have to in order to be a good person.
However, I am a dreamer. Not in the mysterious, John Lennon kind of way, but the actual I-have-dreams-most-nights-I-sleep way. And, it always seems that anytime I'm going through heavy personal issues that I dream about people in my life who have died. I don't know if this is a form of cosmic karma, but even after death, people close to me are present in my dreams and in my thoughts.
Anytime I dream about my grandmother on my dad's side (which is often), I am sitting in her living room. She is in "her chair," and I am on the loveseat beside her. Most of the time, I'm telling her about my problems or asking her advice on how to handle things. This is odd to me, because she died before I feel like I had any real adult problems.
In my dreams, she always does and says the same things. She always holds my hand and tells me everything is going to be fine. She eases my worries in a way that only a loving grandmother does. Is this my subconscious trying to convince myself that I will, in fact, be fine, or is this really her comforting me from beyond the grave? I don't know, and I guess I never will. Either way, it's a nice feeling being there with her, even for a minute.
However, I am a dreamer. Not in the mysterious, John Lennon kind of way, but the actual I-have-dreams-most-nights-I-sleep way. And, it always seems that anytime I'm going through heavy personal issues that I dream about people in my life who have died. I don't know if this is a form of cosmic karma, but even after death, people close to me are present in my dreams and in my thoughts.
Anytime I dream about my grandmother on my dad's side (which is often), I am sitting in her living room. She is in "her chair," and I am on the loveseat beside her. Most of the time, I'm telling her about my problems or asking her advice on how to handle things. This is odd to me, because she died before I feel like I had any real adult problems.
In my dreams, she always does and says the same things. She always holds my hand and tells me everything is going to be fine. She eases my worries in a way that only a loving grandmother does. Is this my subconscious trying to convince myself that I will, in fact, be fine, or is this really her comforting me from beyond the grave? I don't know, and I guess I never will. Either way, it's a nice feeling being there with her, even for a minute.
A few pictures from our beach trip....
"A photo says, 'You were happy, and I wanted to catch that.' A photo says, 'You were so important to me that I put down everything else to come watch.'"
"A photo says, 'You were happy, and I wanted to catch that.' A photo says, 'You were so important to me that I put down everything else to come watch.'"
TODAY'S HAPPENINGS:
-stoneage computer at school officially crashed
-said computer crash forced me to get some organizational work done
-first day without the seniors... sadder than I expected
-awkward departmental meeting
-caught up on grading - woo!
-finished lesson plans through the rest of the semester - woo!
UPCOMING SCHEDULE:
- Wednesday - Happy Birthday JD! dinner in b'ham
- Thursday - GRADUATION DAY! my first experience seeing students that I've taught get their diplomas
- Friday - mental health day
- this weekend - going home to see my parents (secret cannot wait!)
- May 25 - Memorial Day Holiday
- May 26-27 - student exam days
- May 28 - last working day! first full year in the books!
- May 30 - BEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCCCCCHHHHHHHH
WORRIES:
-slacked on my diet...again
-didn't go to the gym...again
-husband pinched backfat... again. (see first two items for explanation)
-sort of messed up my grade posting for seniors
-wondering if we definitely have a job next year (we'll find out soon enough!)
-money (of course)
HAPPIES:
-no unexpected failures in my class
-next to last Monday morning at school today
-finishing out the year teaching exclusively my favorite short stories
-sold my first paintings recently!
-two other paintings lined up
-love my family, job, friends, husband, cat
-stoneage computer at school officially crashed
-said computer crash forced me to get some organizational work done
-first day without the seniors... sadder than I expected
-awkward departmental meeting
-caught up on grading - woo!
-finished lesson plans through the rest of the semester - woo!
UPCOMING SCHEDULE:
- Wednesday - Happy Birthday JD! dinner in b'ham
- Thursday - GRADUATION DAY! my first experience seeing students that I've taught get their diplomas
- Friday - mental health day
- this weekend - going home to see my parents (secret cannot wait!)
- May 25 - Memorial Day Holiday
- May 26-27 - student exam days
- May 28 - last working day! first full year in the books!
- May 30 - BEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCCCCCHHHHHHHH
WORRIES:
-slacked on my diet...again
-didn't go to the gym...again
-husband pinched backfat... again. (see first two items for explanation)
-sort of messed up my grade posting for seniors
-wondering if we definitely have a job next year (we'll find out soon enough!)
-money (of course)
HAPPIES:
-no unexpected failures in my class
-next to last Monday morning at school today
-finishing out the year teaching exclusively my favorite short stories
-sold my first paintings recently!
-two other paintings lined up
-love my family, job, friends, husband, cat
