Rookie Reflections

So far this summer, I have...

1. ...read books I had put in my procrastination pile. I made a list of all the ones I have read and the ones I want to read. When summer is over, I'm going to do a book review type blog. I have already started!

So far, this is my list:

Angels and Demons – Dan Brown (done read it)
My Sister’s Keeper – Jodi Picoult (been there, read that)
Goodnight Nobody – Jennifer Weiner (sooo last week)
House of Sand and Fog – Andre Dubus (reading now)
The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison (reading now)
Jesus Camp – Julia Scheeres (on deck)
Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert (in the hole)
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger (will read when the library gets it in)

Any suggestions?


2. ...watched a ridiculous amount of reality television. Mindless? Yes. Can't wait for the next episodes? Ohh yesss....

Highlights:

Weird foot fetish guy on The Bachelorette, Tanner P. really digs a girl with straight toes painted with Mango Mango nail polish. I am not making this up, people!



Sebastian's hair on NYC Prep...



This hair should be listed as a character on its own. Every time he flips his hair, God kills a baby kitten.

Finally, the Real Housewives of New Jersey kept me laughing the whole time. Favorite cast member: Jaqueline, of course. I think she is my New Jersey counterpart, with much bigger boobs.




3. ...worked out more than usual. I am most proud of myself for discovering group exercise classes at the gym that don't make me want to run screaming in the other direction. For the past two weeks (and I guess a half week now), I have worked out/done something athletic from Monday through Saturday. I am trying to vary what I'm doing so that I don't get bored or burnt out. So far, I have tried step (love), body pump (also love), walking, elliptical, and stair stepper. One day, I am going to work up the courage to go to yoga and not be awkward. One of these days!

I have been having a hard time personally lately. Before I even go into this, I want to say that I know I am lucky; I know for certain that I don't deserve the things I have and the people in my life.

I haven't been able to get to a place where I feel comfortable with myself and my life. Tuscaloosa is a great city, but it is more and more evident to me every day that Tuscaloosa is not for me. This is not my home, whatever that means. I don't know where I would want to be if I left here, though...definitely not back to Arab. Maybe I should be a professional nomad.

I have witnessed my close friendships fade in a major way over the last year of my life, and I'm getting more timid and less able to make new friendships as I get older. When did I become a wallflower? Why do I still feel like a paranoid teenager in a crowd?

I am thrilled with the job I have, but last year I felt as though I was trying desperately to hold my head above water, wishing all the while I were a student again. If I even made any differences in lives, it was through social work opportunities, definitely not because of stellar teaching. In my marriage, something I hold most dearly, I can't ignore my glaring inadequacies at every turn.

What is my problem? Will I ever feel "normal?" Who knows. I fully realize I'm being a whiny baby. Regardless, I wanted to get it out in some way or another.

When I was a child,
my mother would run her slender fingers
through my hair
until I slept.
Ever-soft,
temperate,
transfer of burdens;
She never found a tangle in my heavy tuft.

A few pictures from our beach trip....


"A photo says, 'You were happy, and I wanted to catch that.' A photo says, 'You were so important to me that I put down everything else to come watch.'"

As many of you know, I like to paint in my spare time. Normally I just paint small things and gifts for people, but this summer I have decided to paint special order canvases for those who want them.

This is the link to my Etsy store:

http://cutestuffstore.etsy.com/

Please look around! The pictures on the listings are samples of hand painted originals by me. If you are interested in purchasing a painting, I will tailor it to your specifications. You choose the color scheme, size, pattern (existing or not), and name to appear on the canvas. I can match the canvas to any pattern (such as bedding) or just create a design based on the specifications you give.

For now, I am only painting canvases, but I will do my best to accommodate special orders. If you have any questions, please contact me on Etsy (if you have an account), at kellybeth1225@gmail.com, or on facebook, and I will be happy to paint for you!

Ideas for canvases include:
-personalized canvases
-room hangers (“Hannah’s Room”)
-teacher gifts
-wedding/anniversary gifts
-birthday gifts
-holiday themed canvases
-etc.

I will continue to update my Etsy store as I paint more items. Please feel free to forward this to anyone who may be interested, and keep me in mind if you need a cute, personalized item!

Thanks!