B and I went out last night to unwind from the week. Some friends of ours were playing, and we decided to go see them. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a few drinks on a weekend and just having fun. However, after my bar experience last night, I felt that I should create some bar rules for girls. They are...
1. I know you are a size 2 and have great legs. Wear that mini-dress, honey. But, please don't bend over (ever). It doesn't matter how hot you are, nobody wants to see your hoo hah.
2. Always steer clear of spandex.
3. I see that you and your boy toy are SOOOOO in love (gag). That doesn't mean you should swap sloppy kisses or grab anything on your partner below the waist. Personal space still applies when you're drunk.
4. Just because a rap song comes on the radio, that doesn't mean you suddenly have dance skills.
and, finally...
5. No grinding.
Please follow these rules and
A. I will not have to slap you, and...
B. this won't be you:
1. I know you are a size 2 and have great legs. Wear that mini-dress, honey. But, please don't bend over (ever). It doesn't matter how hot you are, nobody wants to see your hoo hah.
2. Always steer clear of spandex.
3. I see that you and your boy toy are SOOOOO in love (gag). That doesn't mean you should swap sloppy kisses or grab anything on your partner below the waist. Personal space still applies when you're drunk.
4. Just because a rap song comes on the radio, that doesn't mean you suddenly have dance skills.
and, finally...
5. No grinding.
Please follow these rules and
A. I will not have to slap you, and...
B. this won't be you:
9 comments:
Lindsey said...
dammit, Kelly! if you have a problem with my bar behavior, just tell it to my face!
Kelly said...
We both know you would NEVER wear spandex or grind. If you did, we wouldn't be friends.
Blaine said...
She looked like a member of the X Men!! I thought she was a super hero!! I was so happy, 'till I found out she was just another slut. :(
hales said...
hoo hah? you are such a teacher.
Kelly said...
Hayley, take your pick:
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/thesaurus/words+meaning+vulva+(%27vagina%27).html
hales said...
Kelly said...
ok this is getting out of hand! :)
Lisa said...
This made me LOL. Next time I am at the bar I want to count how many of these great little items I encounter. My guess? All of the above.
Anonymous said...
hahaha i think i have been that girl before??